Mormon Girls

It is very sad to see how predictable the average Utah Mormon girl works. They date and make out in high school, then send a missionary off and promise to wait and to write, then immediately after find a returned missionary and marry him, because they love how strong his testimony is—plus they have wanted sex for a long time. (Not a diss, so do guys)

After that, have a midlife crisis after having 4 kids in 2 years and end up going on anti-depressants. Finally they have to turn inside themselves and figure out what they truly believe independent of their parents or their very spiritual husband. Mormon girls need better. They should have to go on missions at 19 just like all of us guys. It would eliminate all the stupid choices made at a time in life when you’re making choices stupidly anyway.

If Mormon girls require their husband to be an RM then they better be prepared to be an RM themselves. See how they handle it. Going on a mission for some girls would be an emotional disaster. These are the same girls who demand their husbands serve, and the same girls who shove off guys who haven’t. Real congruent there. I believe the bible has a word for that. Hypocrite.

Now don’t get me wrong here. Mormon girls are very....attractive and.....nice to look at. But so are bears. And I don’t think that’s an unfair comparison because girls can be more vicious and cleverer than the average grizzly. I find that most Mormon girls—dealing in generals—are an enigma; and like bears, can rip you to pieces at any given moment. They may look cute and cuddly, but just wait until you piss them off. This perspective might seem like an embittered expression of some bad experience that I have suppressed and has festered inside of me like a cancer eating away at my self confidence that will eat away at the foundation of my life until I can get over it, but I’d like to think it’s just true.

Let’s not confuse this argument with the fact that I think women are much better than men. In fact, if all 19 year old girls were asked to serve missions I think this church would double in size, and grow exponentially in strength of membership. I think women are awesome, but the system they fall into turns them into less than they could really become. I mean they are just as capable as men if not more so, just as smart if not more so, and although they don’t hold the priesthood—yet—they might as well based on their general nature (it's their insecurity that makes them so convinceable). Women used to give blessings back in the early church. They do temple work that is just as crucial as men’s work. They are freaking awesome and seeing them fall into the pitfalls of Mormon culture is sad. And so is a bear ripping of your head. And that is what is happening to oh so many of us guys in the church, getting our figurative heads ripped off by a ferocious beast—the Mormon girl.

The Most Accepted Monopoly In America: The BCS

Teams in the BCS are chosen by conference, and those that are the ‘elite’ conferences are preferred to those that aren’t. This is not merit, but power based. The selection process has less to do with football than it has to do with money. The teams that are chosen may be very good, but they are also very rich because of the system, which is a big contributing factor to why they are very good. The BCS eliminates the possibility of a very good football team who is not in the ‘elite’ from competing because even if they have had unbeaten seasons, the system values a more ‘elite’ school with a worse record—and withholds the kinds of funds that a BCS conference team would get to maintain the high level of performance. It is in the nature of these BCS conferences to put their self-interest above the integrity of the game, with results that hurt others and help them—which sadly is all they really care about.

The amount of money non-BCS bowls games give to the schools and athletic departments of a non-BCS conference is dwarfed when compared to those in the BCS—even teams who never see a BCS game but are in the same conference as teas that do. The numbers are staggering. The idea that this only affects things on the field is one of the BCS’s biggest lies and its biggest violation of basic American values. Money from the games helps fund the institutions of learning that the football team represents. This directly influences the resources that schools have to better prepare their students for the real world. If you take the blindfold of sports away, a organization that strikes a deal with other organizations to limit the competition in order to suppress the chance of smaller—and often better institutions in merit—is criminal and un-American in its ideals. It truly takes away from the idea let the best man win and replaces it with: let those in power keep the best man at bay. The nature of the system is elitist and suppressive.

The BCS may work on a superficial level—good teams end up in the best games. There hasn’t been a year where all the BCS games had terrible teams in them—that is for sure. But maybe that’s not an indicator of how the system works to put the best teams together, but rather a indicator of how the system determines gets the chance to be seen as good and who can be seen as not so good. People believe Alabama to be better than Boise State because the system tells them to believe it, not necessarily because it is true. The ‘best teams’ are those teams rich enough to belong to the club, and good enough to do well in their conference. The ‘mid-majors’ are those teams good enough to compete with the elite, but refused to be given a chance to. Favoritism and Tyranny at its finest.

If the BCS can be dethroned, then let it happen. But what really should change are the qualifications for BCS births. You don’t necessarily have to have a playoff to keep things fair and equal. You just have to give all teams and equal opportunity to compete on the highest level and let their results speak for themselves. If that involves a playoff, great. If that involves giving more mid-major teams a shot based on merit and not on conference, great. But something must be done to keep American Collegiate football in the roots of the American ideal of equality and fairness, and the rejection of elitism and monopolies. The fact that the BCS system has lasted as long as it has, shows us that it’s in human nature to protect your interests at the expense of others and at the expense of fairness and equality; the fact that it might be changing soon shows us it’s in our human nature to push against the ‘man’ for more justice, fairness and equality.

Bob

So let’s just for fun say there is this guy named Bob. Bob wants to be happy. Bob grows up and learns stuff. He learns principles of truth, or in other words: that things are true consistently in different situations. Bob learns these things through trial and error; and lets emphasis the word trials. He has struggle, be through it he grows—or in other words evolves. He grows and evolves from a infant to a whiny kid to a annoying pre-teen to a punk teenager to a young adult who is looking for more truth and purpose. So again. Trials, growth, evolution, truth, and now purpose.

Here he comes to a problem. What is the purpose of Bob? He looks into different things. All kinds of things. He can’t really find complete purpose for Bob in anything material. He also has a hard time finding purpose in things that he is unable to see or believe. So Bob has to search. He finds stuff he likes and forms beliefs. He believes things through his experience—trials and error; and trial and success. He begins acting on these beliefs he has. Bob builds faith—or actions based on his beliefs (which by the way are formed through his trials and errors)—and then begins exercising that faith by acting on principles of truth; which is cool because when good thing comes from his actions he is more likely to trust in that principle of truth.

So Bob—using faith—does some things that seem ridiculous: he wakes up early on Sundays and goes to 3 hours of people telling him how to believe. He finds truth there so he likes it. He starts caring for others more than himself. He eventually decides to trust in some of the principles that others have taught him and let’s a guy put him under some water then lift him back up. But funny thing, afterwards Bob’s life improves and he finds more purpose. He starts to understand that these rather ridiculous things called rituals, can teach Bob more principles of truth and end up making Bob more happy.  Bob understands that the ritual is not what important but what it teaches and how it effects his life. So he does some of these rituals and he learns more and more about himself and those things he can’t see.

Bob is very smart. So he wants to learn a lot about the things he can see and understand. He studies a lot and learns amore about the world around him. He begins to see a connection between what he learns about the world and the rituals that he agreed to take part in. So he studies more. This leads him to want to make a difference and change things in the world around him. So bob begins to create—at fist essays, then fun dates to go on, then stories, then a good job situation, then art, then movies, then friendships, then money, then romantic relationships, then ideas, and then Bob realizes that creating stuff makes him and others happy. He uses the skills he has learned and the knowledge he has obtained to create. But eventually Bob wants to create something more meaningful, more lasting and important than just art, or money, or even new ideas.

So Bob marries a girl and he creates a family with her—kinda like his parents had done before. Bob continues to learn and grow. But now Bob has a family, wife kids the whole shebang. And again life gets hard and he has new trials. His wife and kids are going through the same stuff Bob is and went through. So he is worried about them. He realizes that he can help his family by teaching and learning truth from them. He teaches each of his kids about purpose differently and sometimes his advice applies and sometimes it doesn’t. But his kids begin to figure things out for themselves, with help from Bob and his wife. Bob begins finding more purpose in his family. but then his family starts growing up and having their own families.

Bob now is smart enough to understand a problem. Everybody dies, including Bob. Bob doesn’t really know what happens after you die, but he has his beliefs based on what he has learned and how he feels about it. He begins to embrace the fact he will die. His purpose in life has changed again and again, and now Bob realizes that the purpose of existence is happiness; not just for himself but for others. It’s hard for Bob to make himself and others happy all the time, because Bob knows that part of life is trial and error, and sometimes the trials that make Bob and his family the unhappiest at the time, turn out to give a lot of happiness later.

So Bob tries to pass on some of what he has learned and continues to find joy in creating and in his family and in finding principles of truth. He thinks long and hard about where he came from before he has born, and how we all got here and just the whole question of existence. He then relies on that faith thing he has been using sometimes. He starts to trust in some of the things that Bob learned in those rituals he did, and remembers that they taught him about life after death. He is still scared and sad to die; because death is still scary to Bob and he doesn’t want to leave his family.

But Bob dies. But he continues to exist, which makes Bob very happy. He realizes that after you die you still exist. You just don’t have that body. Bob is happy and at peace because he remembers the rituals and what they taught him. Bob is a spirit or in other words an intelligence without a body. He is happy but can’t grow as much because he died and his mortal experience was what let him grow the most. So pretty soon Bob wants his family again, and what’s cool is that they start dying too (yeah I said cool), and Bob is able to be with them again.

But now they all have a problem. They don’t have those bodies that they had before. They want their bodies back because it let them do things like eat, and create, and feel pleasure that they can’t have without that body. But it turns out that the creator of their spirits—or the creator of their intelligence—knew about this problem and through rituals allowed for all of them to get their bodes back. Bob realizes this guy who created his spirit is pretty cool and Bobs realizes he wants to become like hime. He calls him Dad because he created him. This dad is not unlike Bob’s Dad back in life. This new Dad has learned a lot and wants to share it with his children, and he is worries about them. He realizes that he can help his family by teaching truth to them. He teaches each of his kids about purpose differently and sometimes his advice applies and sometimes it doesn’t. But his kids began to figure things out for themselves, with help from this new dad and his wife, who Bob calls Mom, because he is her son. These new parents have found purpose and happiness and want to give it to others—most of all to their family. And it actually turns out that these new parents have bodies, which allows them to create and feel pleasure, and grow again. Bob is excited because now that he and his family have their bodies back, they can become like these new parents.

So Bob and his wife, bodies back and all, begin to learn about everything from their new parents. They learn how to create and control matter, how to teach principles of truth, how to find happiness and how to help others find happiness, and pretty much everything about the laws and nature of existence. They teach them how to deal with problems big and small. And soon, Bob and his wife decide they want to create some new children.

So they create spirits. And for a while they really enjoy this new family, because it gives Bob and his wife purpose. But soon they want more for their spirit children. So they decide as a family that they will let the children go and get a body through a mortal experience. So Bob, with his knowledge of matter and existence creates a world. He does so through the natural laws of science that govern pretty much everything. He then decides to put life on the world. Finally the world is ready to put his children on it. But again, there is another problem, these kids who would go down would have their agency and from that would come trials and mistakes and will eventually die. But Bob doesn’t see it as a problem, because he went through it all before and realizes that through rituals he can teach his children about principles of truth, even if they can see or understand everything that Bob does.

So Bob teaches his children very simply at first and as they continue to grow and learn, he gives them new ideas and rules. They learn and grow through trial and error. A lot of his children die and more of them continue to be born. Eventually Bob gives them all he can—knowledge and power—that they can have as normal mortal people. Then, through the laws of nature and through the power of the rituals—which aren’t that different from the laws of nature Bob realizes—he gives all his children their bodies back and begins to teach them everything he knows. He sees them progress and move on to create new children of their own. And bob is happy. Which in the end is the purpose that Bob was looking for anyway. Happiness.

I hate the University of Utah

Finally, Someone had the courage and the lack of tact to say it. "I don’t like Utah, in fact I hate them." How true those words ring in my soul. And no, I’m no typical zoobie. I don’t think BYU is the ‘Lord’s University”, and in fact I disagree that Utah is isn’t a great institution and has a fantastic football program. But I do hate them. Not because they are all anti-Mormon or jack Mormon—although a lot of them are—but because they accuse the BYU Nation of being self-righteous and Hippocratic. They are just as self-righteous in their Utah fanship or even in their behavior as BYU is, they just don’t have a Church of Jesus Christ officially supporting them. They aren’t hypocrites, that is for sure. but they are often mean, fowl, and counter-culture.

I will be the first to admit that our fans are almost as bad as Utah fans, and Max Hall had harsh words for BYU fans too. We are annoying, and going to home games can be painful because of how idiotic, self-righteous, and myopic BYU fans are. But Utah is worse. They just are.

I digress a little, because I think my hate for Utah isn’t something that can be explained. It’s something that is inside me. I want to be able to be happy that they won a BCS game, because it helped the conference, but I can’t. I want to be able to be happy for Alex Smith when he got drafted and feel bad for his poor performance, although I wasn’t happy for him and I love that he fell flat on his face. I loved it. I love that a self-righteous jerk, who is ignorant and even arrogant, is kicking butt in the NFL on the Colts. I just love BYU so much that it requires me to hate Utah.

I just think that deep in the rivalry between these two teams lies a mountain of emotion that extends into LDS church history and modern Mormon culture. Think about it, BYU-Utah, Dessert News-Salt Lake Tribune, Provo-Salt Lake City. The fight between Mormon culture and modern thought puts people at odds. And although not generally applied to every BYU and Utah fan, the rivalry is rooted in that dynamic.

So if you're a true BYU fan, you really don't like Utah, but Max’s rant doesn't really reflect the church, and probably doesn’t come from his love of BYU. It doesn't reflect the university of BYU. It reflects his emotions—from sucking last year and having one bad family experience—and reflects his passion for what has happened this year. But that first sentence reflects what I and every true blue cougar feels. I hate Utah and I sure love beating and sending them to a bowl game named after a flower.

The Living Church

As a missionary I have a strong belief in the truthfulness of the LDS movement and the tenets to which it adheres. They are inspired and bless many lives, including my family and my own. But I do not like the dogmatic shift into absolutist territory that befalls many others churches. If we turn into the kind of church that is so infallible, so sure, so unconditional; we begin to mirror other faiths in their lack of progression and refusal to acknowledge reason and truth. Believing that we are the ‘one true church’ without consideration and constant self-evaluation, borders on the conditions that precede apostasy. Letting tradition blind us and allowing for a system where there is an absence of doubt, blurs the lines of the differences between us and the rest of the world’s religions. The reason Mormonism is so beautiful is because of that line; because it began and continued to be progressive. The more tradition and culture drag us toward stagnation, the more uncomfortable I feel.

The movement started with a boy who was willing to accept and progress in any way show to him as being right. He did not hold to any cultural tradition; in fact he defied most of all them. It’s what made the church stand out. The book of Mormon proves to the church that nothing is done or sure, but that God will continue to reveal and we must be ready to adapt to the changing world and embrace true and progressive doctrinal shifts.

The true victims of the Mormon culture phenomenon are those who are the strongest members of the church. They can become a part of a guilt motivated system. They are not it’s source by any means, but rather the result of the bureaucracy that can take advantage of the best intentioned. The outcome of such a system is not unpleasant; the ends of this process are what we celebrate and take pride in. The church does so much for so many, and gives a filter of love and hope to the religious world. But for those—such as myself—who struggle with a Machiavellian justification for a system that may border on violating the principles of the religion it operates in, it can be disheartening and discouraging.

I guess it comes down to what’s more important to you; the ends or the means by which they are produced. This pseudo-business style of running a religion that is largely pure and loving may be effective in increasing numbers (tithing, members, retention); but this mixture is not necessarily morally permissible to me.  It’s a good thing that the church continues to progress and evolve with living apostles and prophets or else the traditionalist members might have stagnated the ‘living church’. And if it's a living church, it will adapt and change for the better; and thankfully it continues to do so.

Throwing up the "J's"

Judge not, that ye be not judged-Matthew 7

Let that missionary without apostate thoughts, feelings, or actions cast the first stone.

Pharisee: Condemns others for their lack of righteousness and for their unwillingness to fall within the bounds they believe are correct. They lack Understanding & Empathy

Apostate: Condemns others for their lack of rebelliousness and for their unyielding convictions. They lack respect and admiration for people who are faithful

There is little difference between the two groups. Both condemn others for their differences, and for their aversion to be exactly like themselves. They both lack humility, charity, and open-mindedness. A true follower of Christ would follow his beliefs whilst respecting and accommodating the beliefs of others. He would stand firm in his convictions and yet not force them onto others.

The Greatest Missionaries display these qualities

Alma Sr: Reformed his ways after he openly considered Abinidi’s message

Alma Jr: Reformed his ways after highly spiritual experience, which then allowed him to use his prior experience to relate and help the people who had similar problems as he had.

Saul/Paul: Reformed from persecuting the saints as an apostate, to becoming a follower.

Ammon: Did not force his views onto others, but served them and then they inquired of him.

Samuel/Ether: Unafraid to express his true opinion even at the cost of being hated by those in the world.

Abinidi: Unafraid to express his true opinion even at the cost of being hated by those in the church and in authority at the time

The Keys To Unity

1.Before we turn to the outer vessel (others), we must turn and consider the inner vessel (ourselves)

2.How can we expect to spread the love and spirit if the gospel when we as a group do not feel it towards each other.

3.A House (Mission, Zone, District) divided against itself cannot stand, and the way to gain unity is not to tell everyone to change, but to build trust and understanding for others.

4.Gifts of the spirit are different for everyone (D&C 46) and acknowledging and accepting that others do things differently that can benefit us as a whole is vital to Unity.

5.Do Leaders Throw-Down or do the Lift-Where-They-Stand?

Absolute Altruism or Selfish Selflessness

Over the course of my mission, the general focus of ‘the work’ has seemed to me at times, incongruent. The focus on not being selfish, which in of itself it admirable, but not at all possible. (See Communism or Law of Consecration). There is a notion that we as missionaries and even members of the LDS church should not do what is in our ‘best self-interest” because doing so would be wrong. I may be diving into mere definitions, but generally when we are doing what is right, we have selfish motivations.

Selfishness play a role— a necessary and beneficial one—in missionary work and in life in general. We strive to reach our goals to better ourselves, that is selfish. We want to have fun on p-day and unwind and prepare for another week of missionary work, that is selfish. All the things we do are in our ‘best self-interest’ or we would not be doing them. The standard should not be are you suffering and going against your own needs, but should be: Do my actions helps others and benefit more than just yourself—which is where altruism can play a part. We try and act selfless, but our motives will always be selfish for anything. Like faith and doubt, selfishness and selflessness is a coupled process and how we harness our natural selves by trying to better ourselves.

I Would say—religiously—that selfishness is the common motivator for most people. The plan of Salvation is selfish, we do the right things in order to gain a reward. It’s selfish to want to go to the highest degree of heaven. It’s selfish to want to become like god. It’s selfish to merely obey to obtain blessings. It’s selfish to want to be with your family for forever. It’s selfish to come unto Christ so you can obtain ‘rest’. Our desires and actions will always follow our ‘best self interest’ as we perceive them. The gospel is the way which we believe we can obtain those things that we desire. Even when we serve in the best interest of others, that means we ourselves deem helping someone else as in our best interest.

That doesn’t mean we don’t act in ways that bless others. We may go on missions because we have been asked to by a prophet (obeying a commandment to obtain blessings) and to satisfy social pressure (recognition as a good member of the church), and because we desire to serve others (a selfish need to view ourselves as good people). But, the results are that people are helped and blessings come to others—as well as ourselves—when we do so.

We act selfless based on selfish motives. And if our selfish desires help us and others, then they aren’t bad at all, their vital to progress on a mission, in the gospel, and in life in general.

Tort-Deformity

In an ever increasingly tense atmosphere of health-care reform, the subject of tort reform has found a cozy spot in the heart’s of angry conservatives. In an effort to cut cost of health-care, fiscal caps would be imposed on malpractice law-suits and hinder the ability to collect on wrongful death, pain, and suffering in tort cases related to medical care.

Why not, right? As long as costs are down then the public is better-off, and in that spirit there are a few more actions the public should take. We should implement sweeping pay cuts for all of America’s teachers in order to improve the education system. To eliminate costs in crime-fighting, we will lower the salaries of all patrol-men, detectives, and highway patrol in order to develop and enhance the way we fight crime. And finally, we will immediately stop building stoplights and halt funding of highway improvement projects to make our roads and highways safer.

Yeah, doesn’t make much sense, does it? Funny thing about costs; some of them are definitely worth it. Just like roadways, crime, and education; health-care benefits from responsible spending on oversight (tort law, police, teachers, stop lights all oversee and help regulate their system)are worth the cost. Particularly in torts, which help insure people’s safety by holding people accountable for mistakes or breaches of the standard of care and help correct shattered lives from those actions. Tort law helps victims of negligence or worse, tort reform benefits corporations who can legally shrug their mission of insuring people’s lives. Which side do we want to be on? This change in the tort system seems to be more worried with helping HMO’s manage their costs than it does helping the average Joe. Seems….well…kinda evil.

If health-care wants to reduce costs responsibly—whilst helping doctors, patients, and victims of medical malpractice or abuse—then HMO regulation is the way to go. Making it harder for HMO’s to raise doctor’s premiums for insurance and harder for HMO’s to deny promised coverage to patients, then tort reform will look less like an destruction of victims rights and malpractice law—like it does in states like Texas where wrongful death and malpractice is non-existent now—and more like a plausible solution for everyone.

Studies agree that tort reform correlates with higher mortality rates. Not really helping health care then, is it? No, just helping cut costs.

The new African-American: LDS

Two Dudes kissing each other at Temple Square are arrested and kicked off public property; quickly followed by protests. Prop 8 legislation prohibiting marriage rights to homosexuals passes with considerable support from the LDS church; quickly followed by protests, boycotts, and even vandalism. If you had to assign a 'persecuted' label to either the LDS church or the Gay Rights, which would it be?

According to Elder Oaks, it'd be the church.

In a speech at BYU-I, Elder Oaks compared the treatment of the church to the treatment of blacks in the 1960's. He said that the church's position and experience in Prop 8 echoed that of the African-Americans in that the church is being persecuted for using its first amendment right to freely speak out on issues.

A shaky statement at best, especially given the church's less than ideal stance on blacks in the past (At the time that African-Americans experienced what Elder Oaks is referring to, they also weren't allowed to hold the priesthood in the LDS church). The logic is heard to see. It's the equivalent of the U.S. government complaining of persecution during the civil rights march in D.C. The gay community is seeking rights and the church played a large role in denying them those rights. What follows it a natural backlash. Gay Rights groups are angry and the church gets flack. No Duh. What did they expect to happen?

Elder Oaks is right that the church has every right to say and proclaim whatever they want. But the public has just as much right to boycott and protest (although not vandalize) the church because of what it says. It's seems to be a two way street this free-speech thing. We can say homosexuality is un-natural and un-godly, and they can say we are bigots and homophobic.

The church has been know to play the victim card. Ever since the extermination order was issued back in Missouri, persecution is something of a confirmation of belief for us. But in this particular case, if you had to pick which group is more like the evil galactic empire and which group is the rebellion, then us Mormons are looking an awful lot like storm troopers these days (no matter how much President Kimball looked like Yoda).

I think the real issue is that both sides want respect from the other, which of course is ridiculous. Homosexuals are never going to understand why the church thinks they are an abomination, and the Church is never going to condone homosexuality. Gay Rights groups want the church to let Gays into the temple. The church wants gays to stop fighting for rights and seek help for their 'condition'. Neither is likely, because the two groups vastly disagree and mostly hate each other--which by the way would go against both the church's aim to be Christ-like and the homosexual's claim that they just want more acceptance and higher minded ideals.

But lets look at the bright side. At least Mormons going to conference get to see the rather hilarious sight of gays and evangelicals protesting side by side. Strange anti-Mormon bedfellows indeed.

Why BYU Students Need to Take a Cold Shower at Gold’s Gym.

The recent protesting of Orem’s Gold Gym by five—count ‘em—FIVE student anti-porno groups—has sparked a heated controversy over…well nothing really. The groups have demanded that the gym get rid of R-rated or sexually explicit PG-13 movies and install blinds on aerobic room windows to block views of provocative dancing. Some of the club's rap videos like "Shake Your Money Maker" were dubbed pornographic, the lyrics offensive as well.

Turns out that they don’t show rated ‘R’ movies, and the music videos that were shown did not contain partial nudity unless you count the midriff—which incidentally BYU students do.

First off, 5 different anti-porno groups? Why would there be five separate anti-porno groups in the same school? Do they each have a particular outrage about specific strands of porn—aka “Students against bare butts” or “The anti-tight clothing brigade”?

I guess it’s just it’s nice to see that the five groups could unite in the face of such mild pornographic circumstances in order to grab some local and national media spotlights for a couple of weeks. And if we Mormons need anything, it’s more media to coverage of our cultural ridiculousness.

And the complaint that Gold’s Gym is not putting blinds on the aerobic areas, what? I can’t understand that these students are so sheltered that they believe women doing aerobic dancing is provocative. Is there really a problem with BYU students watching women do aerobics? Shame on the BYU student who wrote this grievance into their demands; I mean I think they protest a little too much, if you know what I mean. (See Freud, defense mechanism: denial)

Lets also not forget that this gym is public, non-LDS affiliated, nor BYU affiliated. And shockingly, there is no Gold’s Gym “Honor Code”.

So, even if you are offended by the seriously non-offensive stuff being shown at Gold’s Gym, the way to deal with that is to protest the establishment by taking your business elsewhere. It is not economically or socially acceptable to picket until the “end of time” (and that quotation is real! I wonder if that kid is still outside the gym with a sign)

So, I suggest a solution. Lets say that the pornographic videos and provocative aerobic dancing can only be viewed on Sundays and Monday nights. That way, the people who want to see it can, and the people who are offended by it will be at church or at F.H.E. If that doesn’t work, then maybe the five BYU groups need to hit the cold showers and stop looking to be offended.

The "Mo-Mo" Syndrome

At the risk of sounding like a complete apostate, I address the overwhelming annoyingness of Mormon girls. Or as they have been known as, “Molly Mormons” (a.k.a. Mo-Mo’s.)

Most of these females are reasonably good looking, and may look and act just as a normal girl would. But don’t be fooled by this seemingly regular appearance, because underneath the “Shades” and fashionable yet extremely modest outfits, there lays a Siren of unspeakable cunning and clever seduction.

Now I may have to disclaim that I am not referring to all Mormon girls. There of plenty of good LDS girls who aren’t bat-shit crazy and actually have a reasonable amount of ‘fun’ (If you don’t know what ‘fun’ is, you’re probably a Mo-Mo).

Mo-Mo’s typically have 3 shortcomings or annoyances.

Number 1: They judge anyone they see and justify it what can only be understood as completely paradoxical and hypocritical religious support.

That being said, I can’t tell you how many times I have been told by a Mo-Mo ‘not to judge’ someone. This seemingly Christ like advice would be truly valuable if I didn’t know that the ruthless gossip the girls participate in when talking about a variety of subjects. Here a just a few: long hair on boys, rock music, other girls who dress slutty, democrats, any T.V. show besides Arthur, any movie besides Pride and Prejudice or Charlie, and every other girl who isn’t there. And what adds to the irony of their judgments is that secretly, they like guys with long hair, they listen to rock music when no one is around, they all love the movie Hairspray despite it’s highly sexual themes, and how they treat every person they gossip about like they are best friends. Irony at it’s finest.

Number 2: Despite their modest appearance and innocent and saintly image, most Mo-Mo’s will incisively tease guys with overtly romantic and rebellious innuendo.

Mo-Mo’s love to flirt, and talk about almost every single part of a male movie-stars body. They will tease men to the point of confusion and disorientation (the word fickle comes to mind). But then be completely offended by anything from a kiss to an attempt to hold their hand. They then tout those famous cliché lines, “I don’t want a serious relationship,” and then continue to flirt and drive the manhood out of that poor, poor guy.

Number 3: They assume that any digression from their insulated cultural bubble, must come from Satan and that you are now his faithful servant sent to persuade them to betray their values.

If a PG:13 movie with slight violence and some adult language is suggested, realize that Satan might not be responsible. I did not make a pack with the prince of darkness to try poison you by degrees. I merely suggested we watch a romantic comedy that may not be appropriate for those under 13.

So I beg of the Mo-Mo population: Just stop. I mean if you keep acting like crazy people, people might just think you are crazy people. And I know you’re not crazy. You are just confused and mean-spirited.

My Response to Angry Atheists

Oh Adam, you write far too well to fall into the pitfalls of the angry atheist. The truth is that your blog was mostly critical of what you were doing yourself. Irony is probably the word I’d use. You are persecuting the LDS faith, or any faith that disagrees with your opinion and treats you different for it. But don’t get me wrong here, that it such a good thing. The ability to disagree is vital to a healthy society. Persecution has and does exist, but it is healthy persecution. I’m not talking about the whole tar and feather thing nor the Hans mill thing either (Both happened to LDS members). The kind of persecution you’re talking about is people classifying you as a crazy atheist and not listen to your arguments because they know what they believe. And you do the same to LDS members. Don’t you dare suggest that Atheists have been more persecuted than Mormons. We remain the only people that have had an extermination order in the United States history.

Yes, it is almost impossible to be elected as an atheist, because the majority of America is religious, with a large percentage of them zealously Christian. And if anything is an American ideal it’s power to the people, even if they are religious zealots.

Yes, Atheist’s are persecuted. That is a good thing. You’ve now joined the ranks of every freakin’ religion out there. Consider it an acknowledgement that atheism is now recognized and hated, just like Mormonism. So come join us Mo’s on the persecution wagon. It’s the only way that any atheist will have a chance to be elected anything, to be persecuted.

But I do agree that LDS members need to be more receptive to criticism about our religion, because it’s important for people to know what we believe and practice. Where you are wrong is that there is a lack of knowledge about Mormon Doctrine and History. The PBS special did wonders on that. And the more recent LDS literature is pretty clear on our doctrinal beliefs now.

And if you want doctrinal answers about Mormonism, you’re right, you’re not going to get it from Mitt. He’s not going to bring up the mountain massacre or polygamy because that LDS doctrine will scare people, just like Kennedy never talked abut the crusades or any of Catholicism’s skeletons. If you, Adam Gregg, want to know Mormon Doctrine, type it in on Google, and you’ll have more than you need. Heck ask an intelligent LDS member and they can probably answer it sufficiently.

I wasn’t a big fan of mitt’s speech, but it did do one good thing. He emphasized that someone can separate their personal religious beliefs from political actions and decisions made for all people in a country, even for Atheism. The wall of separation between government and organized religion is so important, but that wall doesn’t cover up our right to hate and love ideals and religions.

And Guess what, you are living in a single party state. Deal with it, because we all do. Moderation in Utah is needed badly, and people with views such as yourself will help moderate our state. It will require some persecution of beliefs, but hopefully not of people. But this isn’t simply a Utah problem. Try living in the south for a couple of months and tell us if it’s any better.

So yes, Mitt dodges questions about his religion, just Hilary dodges questions about anything, just as Guillani dodges questions on his affairs, and just as George Bush dodges questions on Iraq. It’s called politics. You answer strategically ....or as George puts it, “streegery,”

It’s when people stop boycotting movies, covering signs with trees, and researching politician’s religious beliefs I’ll be scared. Expressing your support or dissent for something is exactly what we need. You call it persecution, I call it Democracy.

Thus we see that the “faithful” Americans should not open their arms to you. And you shouldn’t meet the faithful with open arms either. You should both open your minds, so you can understand the opposing viewpoint, but not subscribe to it. Dissent, compromise, rebellion, and even religion and the separation of religion and government were used to make our country. And God willing—or non-God willing—that will continue to produce a free society with some tolerance and some “persecution”.

You are guilty of what you accuse the religious of doing. You are sick and tired of how they act, just like they are sick and tired of you. Frankly I’m sick of how atheistic people act and sick and tired how religious people act. You think that the faithful are trapping you, and the faithful think you are taking God out of anything. And that’s the balance between both of your ‘off the wall’ beliefs that keeps the collective America sane and progressive.