Why BYU Students Need to Take a Cold Shower at Gold’s Gym.

The recent protesting of Orem’s Gold Gym by five—count ‘em—FIVE student anti-porno groups—has sparked a heated controversy over…well nothing really. The groups have demanded that the gym get rid of R-rated or sexually explicit PG-13 movies and install blinds on aerobic room windows to block views of provocative dancing. Some of the club's rap videos like "Shake Your Money Maker" were dubbed pornographic, the lyrics offensive as well.

Turns out that they don’t show rated ‘R’ movies, and the music videos that were shown did not contain partial nudity unless you count the midriff—which incidentally BYU students do.

First off, 5 different anti-porno groups? Why would there be five separate anti-porno groups in the same school? Do they each have a particular outrage about specific strands of porn—aka “Students against bare butts” or “The anti-tight clothing brigade”?

I guess it’s just it’s nice to see that the five groups could unite in the face of such mild pornographic circumstances in order to grab some local and national media spotlights for a couple of weeks. And if we Mormons need anything, it’s more media to coverage of our cultural ridiculousness.

And the complaint that Gold’s Gym is not putting blinds on the aerobic areas, what? I can’t understand that these students are so sheltered that they believe women doing aerobic dancing is provocative. Is there really a problem with BYU students watching women do aerobics? Shame on the BYU student who wrote this grievance into their demands; I mean I think they protest a little too much, if you know what I mean. (See Freud, defense mechanism: denial)

Lets also not forget that this gym is public, non-LDS affiliated, nor BYU affiliated. And shockingly, there is no Gold’s Gym “Honor Code”.

So, even if you are offended by the seriously non-offensive stuff being shown at Gold’s Gym, the way to deal with that is to protest the establishment by taking your business elsewhere. It is not economically or socially acceptable to picket until the “end of time” (and that quotation is real! I wonder if that kid is still outside the gym with a sign)

So, I suggest a solution. Lets say that the pornographic videos and provocative aerobic dancing can only be viewed on Sundays and Monday nights. That way, the people who want to see it can, and the people who are offended by it will be at church or at F.H.E. If that doesn’t work, then maybe the five BYU groups need to hit the cold showers and stop looking to be offended.