Mormon Girls

It is very sad to see how predictable the average Utah Mormon girl works. They date and make out in high school, then send a missionary off and promise to wait and to write, then immediately after find a returned missionary and marry him, because they love how strong his testimony is—plus they have wanted sex for a long time. (Not a diss, so do guys)

After that, have a midlife crisis after having 4 kids in 2 years and end up going on anti-depressants. Finally they have to turn inside themselves and figure out what they truly believe independent of their parents or their very spiritual husband. Mormon girls need better. They should have to go on missions at 19 just like all of us guys. It would eliminate all the stupid choices made at a time in life when you’re making choices stupidly anyway.

If Mormon girls require their husband to be an RM then they better be prepared to be an RM themselves. See how they handle it. Going on a mission for some girls would be an emotional disaster. These are the same girls who demand their husbands serve, and the same girls who shove off guys who haven’t. Real congruent there. I believe the bible has a word for that. Hypocrite.

Now don’t get me wrong here. Mormon girls are very....attractive and.....nice to look at. But so are bears. And I don’t think that’s an unfair comparison because girls can be more vicious and cleverer than the average grizzly. I find that most Mormon girls—dealing in generals—are an enigma; and like bears, can rip you to pieces at any given moment. They may look cute and cuddly, but just wait until you piss them off. This perspective might seem like an embittered expression of some bad experience that I have suppressed and has festered inside of me like a cancer eating away at my self confidence that will eat away at the foundation of my life until I can get over it, but I’d like to think it’s just true.

Let’s not confuse this argument with the fact that I think women are much better than men. In fact, if all 19 year old girls were asked to serve missions I think this church would double in size, and grow exponentially in strength of membership. I think women are awesome, but the system they fall into turns them into less than they could really become. I mean they are just as capable as men if not more so, just as smart if not more so, and although they don’t hold the priesthood—yet—they might as well based on their general nature (it's their insecurity that makes them so convinceable). Women used to give blessings back in the early church. They do temple work that is just as crucial as men’s work. They are freaking awesome and seeing them fall into the pitfalls of Mormon culture is sad. And so is a bear ripping of your head. And that is what is happening to oh so many of us guys in the church, getting our figurative heads ripped off by a ferocious beast—the Mormon girl.